I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize