we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
