8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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