i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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