Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
