This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
When are your genitals available?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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