We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
