omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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