Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
