If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
