You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
