you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
