Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
