i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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