You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize
