Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize