So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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