That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
