Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
