Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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