...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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