I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
