Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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