Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
