Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
