How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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