summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
