Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
