i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize