yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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