If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm experimenting with sincerity
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize