He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
