im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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