I hate your face
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
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