3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Randomize
