Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
