I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just pee around me
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Everyone says I win the strip club
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
