At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
