so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
