Your mouth is God's brothel.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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