so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
my vag is so smooth its legendary
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
