ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
