office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
