i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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