I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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