one might say we're banned from that church
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
