Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
