covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize