no, he came in my armpit
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
