i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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