why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
