drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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