he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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