I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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