Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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