I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I just blew my weed a kiss
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
