That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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