Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize