He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize
