there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
