There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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