he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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