He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
