Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
