I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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