My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize