Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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