Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
