I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
