that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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