I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
