i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
