your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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