I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
