Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
