i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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