Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
