Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Randomize
