i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wish i was in the wii world.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
