I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize