i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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