"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
