I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
