Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
