After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
